In a new memoir, the Hole and Smashing Pumpkins bassist bares her soul and reveals her love of low end

Few bands rode the โ90s alternative music rollercoaster with more intensity than Hole, the combustible mix of punk, grunge, and pop led by frontwoman Courtney Love. When Live Through This, their second album, hit the airwaves a week after Loveโs husband Kurt Cobain was found dead in April 1994, it was a critical and commercial hit. It was also the last to feature original bassist Kristen Pfaff, who ODโd a couple months later.
That summer, Hole introduced their new bassist, a soft-spoken 21-year-old who had only been playing bass for a year. Melissa Auf Der Maur added killer low end to the bandโs live shows and to 1998โs Celebrity Skin, Holeโs final and most commercially successful album โ and fortunately for us, this daughter of two Canadian journalists also kept a diary and took lots of pictures.
Three decades later, Auf Der Maurโs new memoir, Even the Good Girls Will Cry, captures those experiences with stunning clarity. Chronicling everything from the arduous process of recording Celebrity Skin and her fax-powered relationship with Dave Grohl to being a few blocks away from 9/11 with Paz Lenchantin and joining Smashing Pumpkins, the open and entirely candid Even the Good Girls Will Cry is an enthralling read, especially for those of who lived through the grunge era and the drug-fueled drama that grabbed headlines.
The book also serves as the first account of โADMโ talking about her playing and her lifelong love of the bass. From the moment she picked up her sunburst โ70s Squier Precision, she says, she had found her calling, and the course of her life was forever changed as one opportunity led to the next. Being self-taught and joining a band the week she started, ADM played the way she felt, which often found her in front of the beat driving the songs of Hole, Smashing Pumpkins, and her two solo albums Auf Der Maur [2004] and Out of Our Minds [2010]. โIโm learning more about my own playing now that Iโm revisiting it and talking about it,โ she says. In fact, much of the book is dedicated to her role as a bassist, which provides a refreshing perspective amidst the chaos.

How vulnerable did you feel revealing everything in Even the Good Girls Will Cry?
Very! It wasnโt until I was recording the audiobook, reading my story to myself, that I realized what I was unleashing. I was crying in places I did not expect. This started as a journey to unpack and better understand my coming into womanhood โ for myself, my daughter, and her generation โ and to study my evolution. Reading it for the audiobook, it occurred to me that there would be people reflecting this back to me. It was almost terrifying to realize that I had unleashed something, and now I was going to have to face it. But I have total faith that this is a necessary part of my healing process.
In many instances, you held your tongue with bandmates and people in the music industry. What is it like to reveal your thoughts now?
I was just in L.A., where I had tea with Courtney [Love] and was on Billy Corganโs podcast. Everything is out in the open now, and Iโm closer to both of them than I ever have been. Thatโs magic! When I started writing the book, I got in touch with Dave [Grohl] and got his blessing. I told him that I was going to tell everything. Because of my Canadian, redhead, bass-playing, diplomatic ways, I donโt have enemies. If thereโs one thing these people know, itโs that Iโm not in this for the money, drama, or power.

Because of my Canadian, redhead, bass-playing, diplomatic ways, I donโt have enemies. If thereโs one thing these people know, itโs that Iโm not in this for the money, drama, or power.
Youโve said that โbass is the mother of all instruments.โ What makes it so maternal?
When youโre in a crowd of 20 or 20,000 people, what are they moving to? They are moving to the bass. Yes, the kick drum helps, but the bass is gluing the kick drum to the guitar, vocals, and everything. They are 100 percent being moved by the bass. Iโve had my whole life as a bass player to reflect on that. That term came to me when I was in a limo in 1999 being brought to the Gibson Guitar Awards, where I was winning โBest Female Bassistโ [laughs]. In the car ride, I had to write an acceptance speech, and thatโs when it came to me. I scribbled it in my diary.
Bass is the mother of all instruments. Sheโs the one you donโt notice until sheโs gone, and sheโs the one that connects everyone together without being obvious about it. Thatโs why I was attracted to bass in the first place: The showmanship of lead guitar or singer and the athleticism of a drummer โ that just intimidated me. The deep feminine power of the bass, the silent wallflower power, is what I love.
You joined Hole within a year of picking up the bass. Thatโs wild!
That does get overlooked. It was a whirlwind. I just instantly connected with the bass, and it felt so natural to be playing it. I was focused on writing songs and my role in the band. I wasnโt hung up on the whole technical side of it. Actually, Iโm glad youโre bringing this up because I have two very Bass Magazine-exclusive stories. One involves Geddy Lee and the other involves Billy Corgan.

Letโs start with Geddy.
Geddy put out a show called Bass Players Are Humans Too [on Paramount+], and I got the call to be the token female bass player [laughter]. The producers told me Geddy wanted to come to my town to learn about me and prove that bass players do more than just play bass, and that at the end of the visit, I was going to jam with him.
What did you think of that idea?
In that moment, I was like, โFuck, maybe I canโt do this.โ I hadnโt played bass in a very long time. I canโt bass solo jam with Geddy Lee with no drums or anything else! I told them that it sounded terrible and intimidating, but I wasnโt going to say no to Geddy jamming with me. So they showed up, we got to know each other for a couple of days, and me and Geddy hit it off so hard. In one of our conversations, I whispered to him that bass playing is really easy. He said, donโt say that. I told him it was. He said that it might be easy for me, but itโs not easy for everyone. For me, itโs that female sense of tapping into other people and just letting it come out. Later, we picked up our basses, and at the end of our jam, Geddy โ who had just filmed episodes with the bass players from Metallica, Nirvana, and Primus โ told me that I was the only one who let go and actually jammed with him. He said the other guys were all tech talk. I told him I couldnโt tech talk because I donโt have tech to talk, I just fucking play [laughs].
Bass is the mother of all instruments. Sheโs the one you donโt notice until sheโs gone, and sheโs the one that connects everyone together without being obvious about it. The deep feminine power of the bass, the silent wallflower power, is what I love.

Awesome. How was chatting with Billy Corgan?
I went out to Los Angeles and sat down with Billy for his podcast. I was being interviewed by my mentor about the book that I just wrote, in which heโs heavily included. He decides to talk about my bass playing as someone who saw me open up for his band on the Siamese Dream tour, had me in his band, and then invited me back last summer to sit in on his solo tour. If thereโs anyone who would have a perspective on my bass playing, itโs him.
I had never had a conversation with him about my bass playing until this moment. I used to just show up and play and not make any mistakes. He said something interesting: When his beloved DโArcy [Wretzky] went MIA, he asked me to join his band because he needed someone from inside the family during that delicate moment. His song โI Am Oneโ [from the Smashing Pumpkinsโ 1991 debut, Gish] is the sole reason I picked up the bass, and he said that he wanted to give me, as a bass player, an โexpanded experience.โ He knew I was hungry for it, and I was. I said yes to Hole to make an impact on the male-dominated landscape, and I said yes to Smashing Pumpkins for the music. It was the greatest music lesson of my life.
When I started playing โEverlasting Gazeโ at soundcheck in Montreal last summer, [Billy] stopped and said, โWow, thereโs that pocket. Youโre the only one with it.โ Iโm not saying itโs better, and itโs certainly not worse, but itโs unique to me.
Your time in Smashing Pumpkins and working with Billy obviously had a big impact on you.
Playing those shows changed my body, my soul, and my bass playing for life. The other cool thing Billy said was that my pocket is very different from anyone else heโd ever played with. When I started playing โEverlasting Gazeโ at soundcheck in Montreal last summer, he stopped and said, โWow, thereโs that pocket. Youโre the only one with it.โ Iโm not saying itโs better, and itโs certainly not worse, but itโs unique to me. He had never told me that before. He also described where bass players usually land and said Iโm always pushing slightly ahead, which I didnโt know. But it kind of clicked when he said it.
One of the highlights of the book is your chapter about learning tricky bass parts for Machina with Grohl.
To have a man you love, who also happens to be the best drummer on the planet โ as a bass player, thatโs pretty fucking cool. It was definitely the most romantic thing that had happened up until that point. That time with Dave was so joyous, but also so enriching musically. Now that I look back on it, working through that music with him was surreal. That music was a lot to learn, with a lot of difficult parts, and I needed to nail it to prove to myself that I couldโฆ and to prove that female bassists were just as skilled and talented.

Are we any better at honoring and balancing womenโs roles in music than we were back then?
I do think that it has gotten better, as I discuss at the end of the book. The rise of Billie Eilish, Olivia Rodrigo, and Taylor Swift โ of course itโs on the upswing. But also, look at society. Look at the algorithms of the internet preying on young girls and what the administration of this country does. We are not better off as a society, and in our little secular world of music, itโs still a manโs business, but now these amazing, powerful girls own their own catalogs and have their say, although it does cost $500 to go to their concerts because itโs a crazy-ass system. The only person I see doing it motherfucking dreamily is Billie Eilish. That woman is the most talented artist of her generation. The power of the musical legacy shared between Billie and her brother [Finneas OโConnell] can only be created with a combination of magic and a loving family who supports their kidsโ arts. Her daringness to call people out is just beautiful. She is as good as embodied female power can be.
There is so much progress. Billie couldnโt have existed in our generation. That wouldโve been impossible.
You talk about watching John McVie rehearse with Fleetwood Mac and thinking, โThe trick is to make the music brilliantly simple when it comes to the rhythm section. Itโs simple, I realize, but not easy.โ
I love sentiments that emphasize big concepts really succinctly, which I believe is part of my writing style, so I appreciate hearing things like that. Trying to take something complicated and condensing it down to one sentence is really hard, but I feel like those things are received more easily. Thatโs also my style as a bass player. Locking in with the drums, not stepping out and trying to do too much, is an art in itself.
โThe trick is to make the music brilliantly simple when it comes to the rhythm section. Itโs simple, I realize, but not easy.โ
When it comes to your bass influences, Eric Avery is just about the only player you mention.
Heโs one of the few bass players in the world that I can reference as a musical inspiration, but I never sat and learned his shit. I donโt even know any Janeโs Addiction bass lines, but I like them. We do have a similar style. The good thing about me not having spent a lot of time talking musical shop with anyone is that Iโve always had my own mentality, and Eric is someone who seems to always have his own voice when he writes.
What is the best advice youโve ever been given about bass?
None. I donโt think Iโve ever been given advice. Nobody has ever taught me anything. No one has shown me even one fucking trick. Really, the only thing that was ever said to me about my bass was when producer Michael Bienhorn told me that I stay on top of the beat like John Bonham while we were recording Celebrity Skin. That was it. Iโve never had conversations about bass at all. Well, until now [laughs].

You talk a lot about your original sunburst โ70s Squier Precision in the book. What do you love about that bass?
I had an immediate connection right when I got it, and I used it for so much of what I did. I never really shopped around for other basses because I really love that bass so much. It just feels like home to me. Sheโs still alive and well and with me. I eventually graduated to a Fender once they brought me on as an artist, but I put a picture of me with that Squire bass on the cover of the book. I was just a child in that picture.

Has writing this book inspired you to once again create music?
Yes. I love photography and I have this crazy archive at a museum called Art Gallery of Ontario, which gives me 6,000 square feet to exhibit my photography. [Melissa Auf der Maur: My โ90s Rock Photographs opens on September 2, 2026.] While conceptualizing the exhibit, I realized that I needed an ode to my bass, so Iโm creating an installation called โThe Bass Womb Room.โ It is a sound and visual installation, an ode to the force of the bass that has moved me onstage and offstage. Itโs deeply conceptual and Iโve been working on a score for that exhibit. While Iโve been in the studio doing that, Iโve decided that I also want to have fun, so Iโm working on a very carefully curated cover album, which is also an ode to my bass in the form of electronic, industrial, new wave music that uses synth bass covered by me on electric with real drums. That will probably come out next year.
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